This past weekend, I celebrated 5 years with my boyfriend. Previous to him, my longest relationship was 6 whole months. Back then, I thought that was pretty long and I always prided myself on knowing a lot about relationships. I felt I knew the jist of what it meant to be a good girlfriend, supportive partner and all around maintaining a healthy relationship. Boy, was I wrong! In the past 5ive years, I’ve learned a whole lot about what it means to be in a relationship. I’ve learned the difference between settling and compromising, and so much more. Since five years is such a huge milestone for me, I thought I’d touch base on the things I’ve learned. If you’d like to know what I have learned out of being in a long term/long distance relationship, continue reading!
PS, I know a lot of the photos are quite old but Gil and I only take crappy phone selfies together now and I figured I’d share some of the really nice ones.
Last Friday was my 30th birthday and I had every intention of making this post on that day. Forgive my poor time management (I’m only really apologizing to myself here), things got too hectic to make this post.
The day before I turned 20, I bawled my teenage eyes out. I couldn’t imagine being a grown up, or what being a twenty-year old would feel like. Little did I know how much I’d miss that transition. Now that I’m officially no longer a twenty-something year old, I wanted to take a look back on what life was like for me.
In my 30 years on planet earth, I’ve learned a thing or two. Lessons have been thrown my way that I never anticipated, while others often repeated themselves until I learned the cause (lets face it, I’m still going through this). Wholeheartedly, I miss my twenties but I’m suddenly realizing that maybe my thirties is where it all begins. This is a big, scary transition for me and I’d like to have document that, even if this only serves me.
Is it strange to dress up specifically for the post office? Because, I definitely did that. I had to make a quick trip to the local post office and I just couldn’t resist snapping some photos in front. Its such a neat, old fashioned looking building thats so unlike anything we have in Canada.
As much as I talk about fashion here, my roots and heart are with fat acceptance. The day I learned to love myself without clothing on was the biggest, most rewarding day of my life. I actively spent my youth hiding from mirrors when I was anywhere near naked and that trend continued on until my early 20s. Now I’m a 29 year old fashion blogger who routinely talks openly about the ins and outs of loving yourself. If you asked me at 16 where I thought my life was headed, this wouldn’t be it.
I don’t exactly remember the moment I declared war on my arms, but I do remember the struggle I felt each time I’d go out. Any outing I had was plagued with anxiety and panic attacks, fits of anger and break downs. I can recount countless memories where I opted to stay home simply because I was too insecure of my arms. Every summer I picked suffocating in the heat over exposing something I felt such extreme shame around.
If you google “I hate my arms” the results are mind blowing. Results ranging from blog posts of self hate to lotions, exercises to “lose that arm fat” and entire lines of beauty cosmetics to tone up your arms. When, why and how did fat arms become one of the worst things a human being can have?
Five years later, I hardly think about my arms anymore. Its strange to think I ever really did and that I spent so much of my life fearing showing them off. I can’t quite figure out why I hated them so much and why so many people still do. My arms have stretch marks and cellulite, yes but do you know what else they have? The ability to hold up my favourite book while I lay in bed and relax. The ability to cook and bake for my loved ones. The ability to cuddle my partner and to hold him tight. My arms and your arms have amazing capabilities and they deserve our love, too.
I took to instagram to ask for photos of people proudly showing off their arms and I was so, so blown away by all of the photos I received. Beyond the cut, you’ll find those photos and I hope it warms your heart just as it did mine.
After a recent trip to the doctor, I got the news that my fat body is starting to affect my health. Its not major, its minimal but without acknowledging my current heath it could get worse. I haven’t felt my best in the last little while so it doesn’t come as a surprise. My doctor, God bless her, has never made me feel like my weight was an impending death sentence. She very politely and respectfully told me she suspected my health issue could be a result of my weight but wanted to run other tests to absolutely be certain it wasn’t the cause of something else. In the doctor category, I lucked out. Big time (no pun intended).