I had an wild and incredible night. I ran into so many old friends, some I hadn’t seen in 2 or 3 years. We talked, hugged and caught up. That night was so much more than the BCCAs for my, although the affair was incredibly fitting. It was an opportunity to remind myself that I do have a place in the blogging and body positive community. It was a chance for people I cared about to tell me how much they missed me, missed my presence online and in person. It was a chance for me to challenge and push myself. To those who don’t suffer from crippling anxiety on a daily basis, this all might seem strange to you. But for those of us who do, you’ll understand exactly why this night was so special to me.
Its been a pretty long time since I’ve attended any sort of body positive/blogger event. Traveling as often as I do, I’m not really around for the events that I’m invited to. It worked out that I was around for the 3rd Annual Body Confidence Canada Awards. The BCCAs is an annual event dedicated to honouring those who actively fight against stereotypes, judgements, policies, and discrimination that attempt to discredit marginalized bodies. I was incredibly honoured to be on the guest list.
As I’ve previously mentioned, I have social anxiety. It feels like its gotten worse in the last year or so and its been a massive thorn in my side. I’ve had my fair share of days where I’ve just cried about my anxiety getting stronger and more overwhelming. Being a blogger means having to attend events that really challenge my ability to overcome my anxiety. The day I received the email, I couldn’t have been more happy. I felt honoured to be invited and even more excited that I’d actually be able to attend. The day of was a different story. I started to doubt myself, doubt my presence at the event and doubt the reasons I should go. I kept telling myself it had been too long, I’d be out of place and everyone would wonder why I was there. I came damn close to getting back into myself pjs and sulking in front of my laptop for the night. But somehow, with much encouragement from my boyfriend and friends, I pulled myself together and made my way to the event.
Dress – Igigi
Necklace – Etsy
Shoes – Thrifted
Jacket – Old Navy